Clever Juan

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says,"What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answers Juan.
The guard says,"We'll just see about that. Get off the bike."
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,only to discover that there is nothing in the bags. The guard releases Juan,puts the sand into new bags,hefts them onto the man's shoulders,and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens.The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan,who crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events is repeated every week for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

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Why does the Turtle try to fly?

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.

"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

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IT Twins

This pic has been doing the rounds of all software companies lately :-)

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Easy Ways to Fail an Exam

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Posterous just got better than ever

Seems like our favourite blogging platform got a face lift (in the 'Manage' section) and a few cool features too!

Techcrunch has already blogged about the new features and there seems to be a lot of tweets I can see on twitter regarding the changes.

A glance at the Manage section quickly tells me the number of subscribers to my posterous, the number of posts as well as the total number of site views.

Apart from the facelift to the Manage section, the most important and significant development is the ability to allow your friends (read multiple authors) as editors of your blog!

Apart from this, posterous now also allows you to register multiple blogs using the same account. This is one feature I've been long waiting for. Great going guys :-)

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This may or may not put a smile on your face

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China Man and Steven Spielberg

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he sees Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,

"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."

 The astonished Chinese man replied,

"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

 "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,

"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

 

The Chinese replies,

"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

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Embarrassing Situation

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.
 

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,

"Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"

She responds in a loud voice :

 
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

 
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.

The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

 
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says,

"You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

 

The young man responds loudly with,

 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. FOR ONE NIGHT ?!  THAT'S TOO MUCH !"

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Interesting comments

Marriages are made in heaven, then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

I wrote your name on the sand,
it got washed away,
I wrote your name in air,
it got blown away,
So i wrote your name in my heart,
I got a HEART ATTACK


LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But don't worry - we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur innocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....

until you fall in love

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

Teacher : U are a failure! At your age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but at your age Hitler committed suicide

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Men always have better friends

Men always have better friends.

 
They will stand by you, no matter what. 

 
 
Here's an example:-

 
 
 
Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night.
 
So she tells her husband the very next morning,
 
that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight.
 
So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and
 
none of them confirmed that she was with them.

 
 
 
Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night.
 
So he tells his wife the very next morning,
 
that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.
 
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirmed that
 
he stayed at their apartments that night and
 
another 5 claimed that he is still with them!!

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