Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
RSS to PDF Newspaper
Check out this website I found at fivefilters.org
Want to create a PDF of your blog? Try this site, it's great for converting RSS feeds to PDF!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Unmarried girl
A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.
Scared……..She confides this "news" to her mother.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?
I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take responsibility.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You can try again!"
Scared……..She confides this "news" to her mother.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?
I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take responsibility.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, If there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery , what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You can try again!"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Men will never learn
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, 'So, you're a man... That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!
There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.'
The man replied,' I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, 'And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
She replies, 'Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
Men will never learn
There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.'
The man replied,' I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, 'And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
She replies, 'Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
Men will never learn
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The love story of Ralph and Edna
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Today is Mental Health Day! You can do your bit by remembering to pass on the link to this post to an unstable friend......
Done my part!!!
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Today is Mental Health Day! You can do your bit by remembering to pass on the link to this post to an unstable friend......
Done my part!!!
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